Don’t be a jerk!
It’s difficult for some of us to draw the line between confidence and aggressiveness – especially when attempting to get ahead at work or to achieve a big win in a competition. Developing an innate sense of sensitivity toward others is one way to keep from stepping over the confidence line and into the aggressiveness arena.
When you express your views and ideas confidently, others admire your stand – but if you take an aggressive stance using threats or others “weapons” of convincing, others will shy away from you and you’ll never convince them of anything – even though it might be the best idea in the world.
Most of us don’t like to be assaulted by others trying to sell us something or convince us of something. We like to make our own decisions based on the information presented in a calm and factual manner rather than dealing with commands or others methods of aggressiveness.
Many times, you may think you’re only being assertive when you actually crossed the line to aggressiveness – and it could be an accident. But, getting your aggressiveness under control is a big step toward projecting the confident person you want to be.
The mindset you must develop to turn around aggressive tendencies is one which advocates you to have respect for others rather than crushing the opposition (or those who disagree with you) to win. When you help others win, you become a winner also because of the respect and admiration you garner. Here are a few differences between an aggressive and a confident demeanor:
- Aggressive: Glaring looks and looking away.
Confident: Making eye contact and paying attention to the other person.
- Aggressive: No flexibility.
Confident: Know and express your own views, but considerate of others.
- Aggressive: Feels and acts superior to others.
Confident: Knows your own values and equal to others.
- Aggressive: Controls others – becomes a control freak when managing others.
Confident: Listens to others and helps them achieve goals.
- Aggressive: Uses body language to intimidate and bully others.
Confident: Knows how to present yourself as a confident person through positive body language.
- Aggressive: Reaches goals by intimidation of others.
Confident: Reaches goals by determination and recognizes help from others.
A confident person is polite, but firm, when standing up for his values and beliefs and never tramples others to achieve success. If you consider yourself an aggressive person, be patient with yourself, but get in touch with your sensitivity to others’ feelings and needs.