When Things Go Wrong, Don’t Play the Blame Game

Flight Formation of Son Tay Raiders

Son Tay Raiders

Reviewing past activities and finding out where things went wrong is not the same as pointing the finger and blaming. Identifying issues is constructive; blaming is destructive.

Sure, it’s natural to want to blame someone or something for your failure. We blame the holidays for a weight gain, we blame our ex for their lack of understanding and empathy, we blame the market for the fact that our savings lost value.

Don’t Be a Victim

There are several problems with this approach. First, things are rarely that simple. Failure can come from a number of different sources, and usually involves several different factors. Choosing just one as the “problem child” means that you can ignore other factors that could have been involved in the failure. Saying that the real estate market is to blame for your lack of ability to sell your house ignores other elements, such as your pricing, the condition of your house, and your Realtor — any one of which has an impact on the situation.

Next, blaming usually involves placing responsibility on an external person or force. Saying that our ex was the reason our marriage failed means that we take no responsibility, and therefore have no way to impact the future. Not only is that ridiculous, it also means that nothing we do now or in the future will make things any different. We’ve placed ourselves firmly in the victim’s role. While that means we might not have to take any responsibility, it also means that we cannot have any impact on the outcome. Since the only thing we can truly impact is our own actions, blaming  others for a poor outcome means that we are giving up any possibility of things being better in the future.

Don’t Fall into Culpability

You might be wondering what’s the difference between identifying problems and blaming is. It comes down to assigning culpability.

Operation Ivory Coast is better known as the Son Tay Raid.  It was an attempt by US Special Forces to liberate American prisoners of war from North Vietnam during the Vietnam War.  While the raid was flawlessly executed, it did not free any prisoners.  They had been moved due to flooding in the area a few months before.  The intelligence for the mission was wrong.   Now this would be a perfect place to play the blame game.  Instead, it was an opportunity for learning how to make such operations better.  The mission led to a major reorganization of the United States intelligence community a year later

The best solution is simply to commit to a different decision the next time around.  As I have talked about in After Action Reviews, always look about how to be better, not dwell on failure, yours or others.

In summary, blaming causes hurt feelings, and wastes resources and energy. Find out where things went off track, but don’t worry about whose fault it was.





How to Make the R.I.G.H.T. Decisions

Where ever you are in life, you’re there because of the series of decisions you’ve made in the past. If you’re not happy with where you are, then chances are you’ve made some poor decisions in the past.

to-do lists

The Magic of To-Do Lists

To-do lists are magic. According to experts, the second you write something down, you’re infinitely more likely to actually make it happen than if you rely on your (sometimes faulty) memory. Some of the greatest thinkers – and achievers!

Staying Healthy Running A Business

The 5-Minute Guide To Staying Healthy Running A Business From Home

Running a business from home can go one of two ways. Either it can be your one way ticket to the best health of your life, or it can be an invitation for various new stresses, problems and things that can go wrong. Which it turns out to be for you is all down to […]

time managemement

The Biggest Secret in Time Management

You can’t manage time. It’s that simple. There is no such thing as managing time. Time is a limited resource. What you can do is find out where you are allowing time suckers and wasters to use up this limited resource in an unproductive manner. This is more self-management than time-management.


5 Keys to Success

Do you want to know one of the secrets of success? It’s this: Become an optimist. It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about one tiny business project or you’re talking about a plan for your personal life, optimism is essential to your success.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *